How can you avoid common challenges with the interest-based relational approach?

1 Resistance to collaboration

Some people may prefer to compete, avoid, or compromise, rather than collaborate, when dealing with conflict. They may see collaboration as a sign of weakness, a waste of time, or a loss of control. To overcome this challenge, you need to explain the benefits of the IBR approach, such as building trust, improving relationships, and finding creative solutions. You also need to model collaborative behavior, such as listening actively, showing empathy, and seeking feedback.

2 Lack of trust and openness

Another challenge is that some people may not trust or open up to the other party, especially if they have a history of conflict, or if they belong to different cultures, backgrounds, or groups. They may fear being exploited, misunderstood, or judged. To overcome this challenge, you need to establish rapport and common ground with the other party, such as by finding shared values, goals, or experiences. You also need to demonstrate respect and honesty, such as by acknowledging your own biases, emotions, and mistakes.

3 Difficulty in identifying interests

A third challenge is that some people may not be able to identify or articulate their own or the other party's interests, needs, and emotions. They may be too focused on their positions or demands, or they may not have the skills or tools to dig deeper into the root causes of the conflict. To overcome this challenge, you need to ask open-ended questions, such as "Why is this important to you?", "How do you feel about this?", or "What are you hoping to achieve?". You also need to use techniques such as brainstorming, mind mapping, or the iceberg model, to help you and the other party explore and visualize your interests.

4 Conflicting or incompatible interests

A fourth challenge is that some people may have interests that are inherently conflicting or incompatible with the other party's interests, such as when they have different values, beliefs, or preferences. They may not be able to find a common ground or a win-win solution, and they may resort to power struggles, coercion, or manipulation. To overcome this challenge, you need to look for ways to expand the pie, such as by generating more options, creating value, or finding trade-offs. You also need to look for ways to bridge the gap, such as by finding a higher purpose, a third-party perspective, or a superordinate goal.

5 Implementation and follow-up issues

A fifth challenge is that some people may not be able to implement or follow up on the agreed solution, either because they lack the resources, the support, or the commitment. They may encounter obstacles, resistance, or changes that prevent them from fulfilling their obligations or expectations. To overcome this challenge, you need to make sure that the solution is realistic, feasible, and acceptable to all parties involved. You also need to monitor and evaluate the progress, outcomes, and impacts of the solution, and to make adjustments or corrections if needed.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?