How can you approach conflict resolution with humility and modesty in Performance Management?

1 Acknowledge your own biases and emotions

The first step to resolving conflict is to recognize your own perspective and feelings, and how they might influence your actions and reactions. You might have assumptions, prejudices, or preferences that affect how you view the situation and the other party. You might also feel angry, frustrated, or hurt by the conflict, which can cloud your judgment and communication. To approach conflict resolution with humility and modesty, you need to acknowledge your own biases and emotions, and be willing to suspend them or adjust them as needed. This will help you avoid being defensive, aggressive, or dismissive, and instead be open, curious, and empathetic.

2 Listen actively and respectfully

The next step to resolving conflict is to listen to the other party's perspective and feelings, and try to understand their needs, concerns, and expectations. Listening actively and respectfully means paying attention, asking questions, paraphrasing, and summarizing what you hear, without interrupting, judging, or arguing. It also means showing interest, appreciation, and compassion for the other party's experience and emotions, even if you disagree with them. By listening actively and respectfully, you demonstrate humility and modesty, as you acknowledge that you don't have all the answers, and that you value the other party's input and feedback.

3 Focus on the problem, not the person

The third step to resolving conflict is to identify the root cause of the problem, and separate it from the personal attributes or behaviors of the people involved. Focusing on the problem, not the person, means avoiding blaming, criticizing, or attacking the other party, and instead describing the situation, the impact, and the desired outcome in a factual and objective way. It also means looking for common ground, shared interests, and mutual goals, rather than emphasizing differences, positions, or demands. By focusing on the problem, not the person, you show humility and modesty, as you admit that you are not perfect, and that you are willing to collaborate and compromise for a win-win solution.

4 Generate and evaluate options

The fourth step to resolving conflict is to brainstorm and explore possible solutions to the problem, and evaluate them based on their feasibility, effectiveness, and fairness. Generating and evaluating options means inviting and considering the other party's ideas and suggestions, without dismissing or rejecting them prematurely. It also means weighing the pros and cons of each option, and testing them against the criteria of satisfying the needs, concerns, and expectations of both parties. By generating and evaluating options, you display humility and modesty, as you acknowledge that you don't have the best or the only solution, and that you are open to learning and improving from the other party's perspective.

5 Agree on a plan of action

The final step to resolving conflict is to agree on a plan of action that outlines the specific steps, responsibilities, and timelines for implementing the chosen solution. Agreeing on a plan of action means confirming and clarifying the details and expectations of the solution, and ensuring that both parties are committed and accountable for their roles. It also means expressing appreciation and recognition for the other party's contribution and cooperation, and establishing a follow-up mechanism to monitor and evaluate the progress and results. By agreeing on a plan of action, you exhibit humility and modesty, as you acknowledge that you need the other party's support and feedback, and that you are ready to adapt and adjust as needed.

Conflict resolution is a challenging but rewarding skill for performance managers, as it can help you build trust, respect, and collaboration with your team and stakeholders. By approaching conflict resolution with humility and modesty, you can enhance your communication, problem-solving, and leadership abilities, and achieve better outcomes and relationships.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?