How can you adapt your conflict resolution style to different situations?

1 The five conflict resolution styles

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) suggests five main ways of dealing with conflict: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. Each style is beneficial in certain cases, but also has its own drawbacks. For instance, competing may be effective when making quick decisions or protecting one's interests, yet it can also damage relationships and escalate the conflict. Collaborating is useful for integrating different perspectives and building trust, yet it may be too time-consuming or complex in some situations. When attempting to reach a quick agreement or balance power among parties, compromising can be effective; however, it can also create a lose-lose situation or undermine innovation. Avoiding the conflict may be necessary to prevent escalation or wait for a better opportunity; however, it can signal indifference or fear. Lastly, accommodating can be beneficial for preserving relationships or showing respect; yet it may also lead to self-sacrifice or resentment.

2 Assessing your preferences

To adapt your conflict resolution style to different situations, you first need to understand your own preferences and tendencies. You can use the TKI assessment tool or other similar instruments to identify your dominant and secondary styles, as well as your least preferred styles. You can also reflect on your past experiences and ask for feedback from others to gain more insight into your strengths and weaknesses as a conflict resolver. By knowing your preferences, you can become more aware of your biases, blind spots, and triggers, and how they affect your choices and behaviors in conflict situations.

3 Adjusting your approach

Once you have assessed your preferences, you can start to adjust your approach to suit the needs of each situation. There is no universal approach to conflict resolution, and each style has its appropriate and inappropriate uses. To decide which style to use, it's important to consider the importance and urgency of the issue, the goals and interests of the parties, the relationship and power dynamics between them, as well as their personalities and styles. Based on these factors, you can choose the most suitable style for each situation, or combine different styles as needed. For instance, a competing style could be used when facing a deadline, a collaborating style when working on a project, a compromising style when negotiating a deal, an avoiding style when dealing with a minor dispute, or an accommodating style when apologizing for a mistake. It is essential to be flexible, adaptable, and strategic in order to balance your own needs and interests with those of others.

4 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?