Here's how you can overcome challenges in developing emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence? It's a learnable superpower! Here's your training montage: Self-Awareness is Key: Check your emotions at the door (like a superhero recognizing their own limitations). Mindfulness Matters: Meditation, journaling - become a master of your inner world. Empathy Elevator: See things from others' perspectives. Step into their shoes (figuratively, not literally...unless you have a stockpile of giant shoes?). Practice Makes Perfect: Role-playing, simulations - hone your emotional response skills. Celebrate Small Wins: Every victory, no matter how tiny, is a step towards emotional mastery! Remember, emotional intelligence is a journey, not a destination. Be patient, keep practicing.

1. Get clear on WHY it matters to YOU that you improve your emotional intelligence (EI). 2. Gain an understanding emotional intelligence and why it matters (Books: "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" "Emotional Intelligence for Dummies') 3. Identify ways you're lacking in EI and how that lack has held you back. Come up with some real life examples and how you would respond better now that you know about EI. 4. For each point of lack, use 2&3 to define what EI skills could be applied to overcome that lack. 5. Plan for how you will approach interactions differently and how you will stop yourself from auto-pilot responding from your previous EI-lacking framework and instead pivot your response to use your understanding of EI and new EI skills.

One common way to draw awareness to your blocks and recognize them moving forward is to insert a simple step in your thought process before taking action. So what's the step? Ask yourself how the other person (or other people) would think / feel about this? Put yourself in their shoes. When you start to actively ask yourself this question, it becomes easier to spot the blocks and remove them.

Lack of self-awareness is a major roadblock to developing emotional intelligence skills. This is an important foundation. You don't know what you don't know. And you usually don't know what you're not paying attention to. Start paying attention to what's going on around you by intentionally slowing down to see how others respond (or react) to your interactions with them. Don't just be attentive; be curious about why people respond to you the way they do. If your interactions with others tend to have a lot of friction, consider how you come across in your tone or choice of words. Instead of thinking others are always the problem, consider the fact that it may be you, especially if you're the common denominator in every such interaction.

Experts say that people do not care how much you know unless they know how much you care. EQ, therefore, is a major leadership trait, even more than IQ, for self-leadership and for leading others. Self-awareness, self-management and social skills are the building blocks of EI and the good thing is that these can be learnt. Here's what it entails: Know yourself to manage your emotions under pressure Listen in a way that makes others feel heard Be quick to show empathy Take responsibility for your mistakes Always be open to feedback Work through conflicts Earn others’ respect

Add a new perspective to your routine: Reflection is key! I'm a fan of a project debriefs, and I'd recommend adding this type of reflection to your day to day activity as a routine debrief. Here are some things I reflect on: 1) Did I act intentionally? Or did I react? 2) If I reacted, why? I often feel people 'react' because the brain thought that is what needed to be done. The brain said - there was no other choice! Take the time to investigate other actions you could have taken in your reflection. 3) What went well? When we reflect, we often go to the fix it stuff first. Give yourself some grace & confirm what went well. 4) What could I do differently next time? Put it on a sticky note on your monitor. Start practicing!

Emotional intelligence starts from within, beginning with understanding your own emotions. Focus on how different emotions are experienced in your body and bring awareness to them without judgment. By first understanding your own emotions, you can thoughtfully observe how your emotional and behavioral expressions impact others. Attuning to yourself enhances your ability to attune to others, fostering deeper connections and empathy. This self-awareness is the foundation for developing strong emotional intelligence.

Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. – Rumi Self-awareness is the story you tell to yourself. Increased self-awareness not only makes you informative about your strengths, weaknesses, emotions et al but also makes you wiser. Research says 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10%–15% actually are. Here's how to increase self-awareness: Feel your emotions Seek feedback Practice mindfulness Keep an open mind Keep a journal Follow your values

In my opinion, this is the hardest part to implement. Remember, the more you practice, the more natural it becomes. I recommend the following strategies: Pause & take a deep breathe and count to 5 as you breathe out. If you are feeling more centered, speak. If not, take another. I usually take a long sip of my coffee or tea to create a longer pause. Tone & pace - pay attention to how you are speaking - talk softly and slowly. This helps to calm your heartbeat & your mind. If these suggestions aren't working, then use your default exit strategy response. Wait, what's this? A strategic communication rip cord. Here is mine: "Thank you for your perspective. I have another commitment I must run to, let's revisit this later."

Most of us are instinctively reactive. We react to stimuli from our environment before we realize that we've reacted. That's the job of our emotional brain - the Limbic System. With practice, you can develop better impulse control so that you can respond instead of reacting. Remind yourself frequently that you want to pause to think about your responses before responding. This is ongoing work that is done before you find yourself in the situation requiring a response. Doing this daily notifies your Limbic System that you're working on doing things differently. A few second of pausing to think of the appropriate response is all that your rational brain needs to steer you away from an impulsive reaction.

"Listen to understand" If you find yourself wanting to say something, give yourself a challenge. Summarize what they said in a reflective question format. For example...So it sounds like....OR Let me summarize to ensure I am understanding your correctly... Thank them for sharing their opinion and perspective. Sometimes people jump to the 'solve' mode too quickly. Remember that your job is to listen to understand, to showcase that you want to learn their perspective. If you are trying to move to a solution, try to incorporate 'we' language to showcase you are on the same team. This shows that you are invested in figuring out the best course of action together.

Empathy allows us to humanize the other person so that we can take better stock of the situation Empathy can be cultivated. Here's how: Create a supporting environment Listen more, talk less Validate the other person's feelings Be present in your conversations Ask open-ended questions Be patient Avoid judgment Be curious Practice presence

Consistency is key to success here. I recommend setting a goal of routine reflection or routine emotional intelligence / growth exercises. By making this a consistent part of your practice, you will see significant changes in your growth. You'll develop the muscle to harness your reactions and turn them into intentional actions.

Some daily actions that can help improve your EI: Notice how your conduct affects others Take responsibility of your actions and words Seek feedback and accept criticism Learn to respond instead of react Practice self-awareness Listen actively and empathise Develop warmth Practice ways to maintain a positive attitude Be approachable and sociable

Spend quality time with yourself, you know yourself more than other knows you. Ask yourself questions about your strengths and weaknesses. Work on it. That's how you will improve your emotional intelligence.