Here's how you can navigate overly critical or unhelpful feedback.

Always remember: overly critical feedback is not about you. It's about them. Their current struggle, frustration or stress. Noticing when someone's feedback goes from helpful to unhelpful is key to recognize that the person in front of you is simply offloading. That doesn't mean you need to silently take it but I know it helps me let go of my defensiveness, create an inner boundary of self-care and cultivate compassion. I'll practice thinking "Wow, this person must be going thru a lot if they're taking it out on me like that." to calm my nerves before taking the next step.

Emotional intelligence helps us avoid throwing out the baby with the bathwater when we get overly critical or unhelpful feedback. Naturally, we can feel a rush of emotion and want to react defensively. EI helps us manage this by focusing on skills to regulate our nervous system and stay connected. One thing I've learned is that every form of feedback can be a means for learning. It helps us not take criticism too personally and develop better people skills, especially with colleagues who may have low EI themselves. This approach emphasizes resilience over criticism. Further, it demonstrates a commitment to continual self-improvement regardless of another person's behaviour. This, in my view, is freedom.

Maintain your composure when receiving overly critical or unhelpful feedback. Avoid reacting defensively or emotionally. Take deep breaths and listen attentively, showing that you are open to feedback even if it seems harsh.

If we are able to segregate feedback into factual and impersonal and personal Breakdown What can be done How to improve What works and how you can seek help to improve. We are humans and we get judged and we are overcritical to ourselves. We circle in shame ,frustration and often personal defeat. If we manage this stage to a clinical more observant stage. We can separate useful feedback vs Feedback that's not helpful or In-Actionable. Breaking down piece by piece we can regroup and reorganize and approach it differently.

Take time to reflect on the feedback honestly. Consider whether there is any truth to it, even if it was delivered poorly. Assess how you can use the feedback to improve your performance or approach.

If the feedback is vague or seems unhelpful, politely ask for specific examples or more detailed information. This can help you understand the underlying issues and how to address them effectively.

Every criticism is an opportunity for improvement. Control your ego and try to view the criticism in an objective and disinterested way. Don't react immediately, looking for the moment to be able to reflect calmly. Draw conclusions and lessons from the criticism and consider explicitly thanking the person who made the criticism for their sincerity. Work on an action plan so that it doesn't happen again. Work on yourself from self-compassion and with a growth mindset. Think that we are human beings in construction seeking to become the best version of ourselves.

Control with care. Suppressing your emotions won't do you good in the long run but expressing them in the moment could be equally damaging. You might think of your defensiveness or anger as puppy dogs that just got spooked and are barking back at the perceived thread: in the moment you both want to get them out of the room and signal to them you care. Once you're out of the room you can tend to understand your anger and defensiveness. You can do this with inner dialog and mindfulness: recognize and name your defensiveness, thank it for wanting to protect you and let it know you'll be with it as soon as this meeting ends. As silly as it sounds, this can work wonders in the moment.

Manage your emotional responses. Show that you are receptive and willing to consider the feedback. Thank the person for their input and express your commitment to improving, even if you disagree with the specifics.

Identify actionable steps you can take based on the feedback. Even if the feedback was overly critical, there may be elements that can help you grow. Implementing changes demonstrates your willingness to learn and adapt.

Use overly critical feedback an opportunity to practice self-validation. Knowing at which point the feedback becomes overly critical and harsh gives you a clear line: up to that line you can improve but beyond it, the feedback was someone else's anger/frustration expressing itself. Discarding that excess feedback is a way of telling yourself "I know myself, I know my work, I know where I can improve and I know that this piece of criticism isn't valid." That line is where resilience lives.

Destructive criticism is irrational, uses personal attacks and seeks to harm you. Constructive criticism is based on facts and data, is impersonal and seeks to improve or solve a situation. When after reflecting on the criticism you conclude that it is unfair, use your assertiveness to defend your actions, your rights and point of view, establish your limits and act accordingly. Manage the process with E.I. using your self-control without letting your emotional state be affected since in reality nothing that is outside of you can affect you if you do not allow it. As a general rule, not everyone can like you, the important thing is that you act consistently with yourself, with your values and with your legitimate aspirations.

Develop resilience by viewing feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack. Use it to strengthen your ability to handle criticism and improve your performance over time.

Consider discussing the feedback with a trusted mentor or colleague to gain a different perspective. They might help you see aspects you hadn’t considered and provide additional guidance on how to address the criticism constructively.