Here's how you can navigate failure in client relations with the key qualities and skills needed.

First, attempt to see things from the client's point of view. DO NOT say "I understand", because you don't know if you understand. Instead, offer a few options of how they might be experiencing things, and highlight you are keen to get an accurate picture. Use "white hat thinking" for the facts AND "red hat thinking" to describe the feelings accurately. Only then can you even start to discuss making things better. First, check if they are even open to it. And then, agree on what "better" looks like, as well as what happens afterwards if you are successful.

One way to start is with an 'Accusation Audit' (Credit: Chris Voss). Play back to them how they might be feeling, but slightly overshoot on the negative. If you think they are mildly annoyed, go further with: "You are probably really annoyed; You probably feel extremely let down by this, and you are probably wondering why you would even consider not firing me on the spot." They might actually feel that strongly, in which case, you know what you are dealing with. Probably: they don't feel quite that strongly and will backtrack you a little. Either way, you need to know how they actually feel and they need to feel heard and understood.

Aim for accuracy. Do NOT get defensive or justify. Aim to get the facts right. Always focus on them, making their experience better (or at least less painful). Do NOT make it about you. When they share concerns, reword to check you understood accurately.

Once you think you understand their position clearly, play it back to them in paraphrase as succinctly as you can. They may say 'That's right'. If you have it wrong, seek clarification. Once they feel properly understood, some of their negative emotions will abate. You can now move to a (more) rational discussion/explanation about what went wrong and why, and what steps if any could be put in place to prevent a re-occurrence. Also, it may be an idea to check-in as to whether they even want to know what went wrong, rather than assuming they do: "Would it be helpful if I ran through exactly what happened, and then we can discuss what we should do going forward?"

Problem solving is great when you know what the real problem is, rather than just a symptom of the problem. Don't be too quick to solve the symptom. If you have done the first steps properly, you will understand what exactly it was about the situation that frustrated them. Once you think you have it, play it back: "it seems like the real issue here is that you feel like we [fill in the blank]". A good solution maybe be one mutually arrived-upon - so ask! "If we could solve this problem, what would that look like?" then add you own: "If we did XYZ going forward, would that help?"

I disagree with this, as it can come across as fake (and it probably is). Instead, focus on them, with care and empathy. The end result might be a more positive attitude (we like helping), but it will be authentic. Fake positivity destroys trust and relationships and is repellent.

I sort of disagree with this. I would reframe with 'big picture'. Remind them what the overall purpose of working together was/is. Focus on some areas where that is working well overall (if true). Don't shy away from the areas of failure for improvement, but ensure that is in the context of a broader direction of travel. If the forest looks great, maybe the very occasional bad tree is acceptable. The thing to be mindful about here is not to overly minimise the negative issue, but to set it in proper context.

Reframe: instead of "failure", simply "it is obvious that out of 100 cases, there will be at least 1 that doesn't go as planned. So it's this one. That is normal and predictable. The question is whether things can be improved, or not.

Avoid any type of "management jargon", it is cringeworthy. Instead, state the obvious: "I have blindspots". And "you probably noticed some". Then ask "would it be ok to share with me so I can improve my services for you?" This makes it easier to accept criticism and feedback, and for them to give it. And it doesn't feel fake like "I am committed to your satisfaction".