Here's how you can handle an angry or frustrated boss with calm and composure.

Careful not to overdo ‘deep breathing’. If you take lots of big breaths, you can end up light headed. You breathe out too much carbon dioxide with big breaths, and then struggle to absorb oxygen into your cells (see Bohr Effect). Breathing gently and slowly is key. Then you’ll be able to respond more calming to your boss or whoever is overly reactive.

One technique I teach my clients is the "4-7-8" breathing method. Here's how it works: Inhale quietly through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, then exhale completely through your mouth for 8 counts. Repeat this cycle 3-4 times. I once had a client who used this technique during a heated meeting with his supervisor. By focusing on his breath, he was able to maintain composure, listen attentively, and respond calmly. Afterwards, his boss even apologized for losing his temper and commended my client's professionalism. Remember, you can't control your boss's emotions, but you can control your own reaction.

Avoir connaissance de ses propres émotions et avoir conscience que la colère ressentie n'est pas votre colère et ne prend pas sa source chez vous. En simplifiant, cette colère appartient à son auteur. Garder son calme du mieux possible S'autoriser à quitter la situation si celle-ci est trop inconfortable . Rien ne m'oblige à vivre voire subir cette colère Pour cela, je pose mes 2 pieds bien à plat au sol et je m'ancre solidement pour faire face .

Working with an angry or frustrated boss could easily increase your stress levels, but when you are aware of what is happening on your end, you can ensure you can regulate your nervous system, remain calm, and handle the situation in the best way possible. When you are in a calm state of mind, you can easily take a deep breath and listen to what your boss has to say. This will allow you to either respond with a clear solution or follow through with any boundaries you set for your own well-being. It will be much more beneficial to work towards a more positive solution rather than joining in the anger or creating a hasty or impulsive response.

Are you part of a multi-generational team? Folks of different generations comprehend and communicate differently. As you face a frustrated superior, gauge their understanding and communication style. Know that, sometimes, they may never understand your viewpoint and that's ok. However, proceed to communicate with open-mindedness, and empathy and actively listen to their frustrations with professionalism. This builds trust with your superiors and helps them be more open-minded and calm down.

How I helped a former superior resolve a technical software hiccup. In my previous workforce, my team used AutoCAD for tech drawings. Learning the software is challenging, especially for newcomers, like my former superiors. There was a time when they felt frustrated. I could hear the aggravation from my desk. Even though I was deep in my project, I got up and decided to see what was wrong. I was curious and did not intend to help. However, I learned they needed a simple how-to in the AutoCAD tools section. All it took was a perspective shift of, "let's see if I can help" in problem-solving. I felt accomplished in helping my superiors overcome their struggles. And from then on, they viewed my AutoCAD skills as exemplary.

I've seen how an angry or disrespectful boss can take a serious toll on well-being. While staying calm is crucial, it's equally important to set boundaries. I once coached an executive assistant whose boss was prone to angry outbursts. In one meeting, when he began yelling and making personal attacks, she calmly said, "I want to address your concerns, but I need us to communicate respectfully. Let's revisit this when we can discuss it productively." Her clear boundary-setting diffused the situation and sent a message about what treatment she would and wouldn't accept. `Remember, you teach people how to treat you. Calmly asserting your need for professionalism protects your well-being and can strengthen your working relationship.

One essential step in handling an angry or frustrated boss is to reflect on the situation later. Once the immediate tension has diffused, take some time to analyze what happened and why your boss may have been upset. Consider if there were any underlying issues at play or if the frustration was directed towards a specific problem or situation. By reflecting on the incident, you can gain insight into your boss's perspective and potentially identify ways to prevent similar conflicts in the future.

Dealing with an angry boss is one thing - but being aware when things are escalated to a place of concern is essential. If things get personal or you are threatened with losing your job, that crosses a line into abuse. You have right to draw the line about that. Stay calm, but speak up - and document repeated occurrences. Having an angry boss may trigger older memories or attacks in your past. Get support and get clear on which is which, so you can heal any unmanaged traumas in your past. Above all, stay grounded and speak to someone who can give you a Big Picture view, as you navigate a challenging situation. Come from compassion and connection, but also stay aware of when things become unhealthy. Take deep breaths - you've got this.