Here's how you can deliver feedback that is both honest and compassionate.

Building trust is crucial for effective feedback. Before addressing areas for improvement, ensure you have established mutual respect and understanding. Be consistent, reliable, and genuinely interested in the person’s development. When trust is present, your feedback is more likely to be seen as supportive rather than judgmental. This makes it easier for the person to accept and act on your suggestions. Trust fosters an environment where honest and compassionate feedback can lead to positive growth and improvement.

- Open communication: Encourage two-way dialogue. Ask for their thoughts and listen actively before offering feedback. - Focus on strengths: Highlight their existing skills and achievements. This builds confidence and receptivity to feedback. - Actionable steps: Offer specific, clear guidance on how they can improve. This empowers them to take ownership of their development.

The rule of thumb I use is about using examples either for positive feedbacks or for opportunities to grow. If you use actual events to exemplify how a professional was effective, or when a professional was not effective and what could have been done instead, your feedback leaves the judgmental arena and becomes a trustworthy conversation. Ask your employee if he/she agrees.

- Focus on the "what," not the "why." Describe the behavior you observed, not what you think motivated it. - Use "I" statements. Say "I noticed..." instead of accusatory "you" statements. - Frame it as a collaboration. Ask "How can we improve this...?" to encourage solutions together.

When giving feedback, focus on actions and outcomes rather than personal feelings or biases. Observe specific behaviors and their direct impact without making assumptions about intentions. This objective approach ensures your feedback is clear and relatable, making it easier for the recipient to understand and act on it without becoming defensive. By presenting concrete examples, you help create a constructive dialogue aimed at improvement and growth.

"Attack the problem, not the person." When I'm working with clients, and we are discussing an issue, they are likely to share "I did this..." "I messed up when...", etc. When I repeat back what they shared with me, I try to disassociate the issue that is happening from my client as a person. An example: Client: "I messed up and sent the proposal to the wrong person. With so much on my plate, I didn't take the time to re-read who I was sending it to." Me: "So with so much going on, and so many other tasks that needed to be completed, the proposal got sent to the wrong person." By shifting away from the self-blame, we open up space to discuss solutions to the problem, instead of unproductive accusations.

Before delivering feedback, it's crucial to put yourself in the other person's shoes and empathize with their perspective. This approach not only fosters understanding but also demonstrates sensitivity towards the other person's emotions and circumstances. What we want to achieve should always be constructive, aimed at facilitating growth and fostering an open mindset for improvement. By adopting this approach, you not only support individual development but also contribute to building valuable, respectful, long-term relationships.

Specificity is key to effective feedback—vague comments can leave your team as confused as a cat in a dog park. Instead, provide detailed observations and concrete examples. For instance, instead of saying, "You need to improve your presentation skills," try, "Your last presentation was informative, but adding more visuals and slowing down during key points could make it even more engaging." This approach helps the recipient understand exactly what to improve and shows that your feedback is based on thoughtful analysis of their performance. It’s like giving them a clear roadmap rather than vague directions, ensuring they know exactly how to get from good to great. Plus, who doesn’t love a boss who notices the little things?

Rather than offering solutions, consider adopting a coaching approach by inviting the individual to generate possible solutions. You'll be surprised how resourceful people can be. It's also empowering when you encourage someone to tap into their inner resources to find their own way forward. The result is an employee with improved competence and confidence in their abilities to grow and perform at their best. Sure, there will be times when someone also needs mentoring and training to grow and develop but combining this with coaching has far greater impact.

If you consider yourself truly a part of a team, you must recognize that it is equally your part to help your team member come up with solutions as it is theirs (even if it's "their job" you're talking about). By suggesting that you both bring solutions to the conversation, the team member will feel supported, and you will come with more solutions than one person could bring on their own. Just make sure your solutions don't turn into demands. When you share them, give your team member the autonomy to choose the final decision.

Offering solutions to work together indicates that the manager envisions the individual's growth. After all, the growth of each individual in a team is critical for the team's success. The individual needs to leave the conversation motivated to keep going and feeling supported. If opportunities for growth is on hard skills, think on trainings. If it is about soft skills, recommend reading and give opportunities for the individual to prove evolution. Trust your team, challenge and make clear that they own their careers but you, as a manager, is giving the opportunity because you trust!

Feedback is an ongoing exercise. By highlighting good executions and performance right after each deliverable, you indicate that the person performed well and that this behavior should be replicated. By highlighting that something could have had a better outcome and how it can be improved, you give the individual opportunity to correct the course before the formal feedback process. Feedback is on the day-to-day and actions agreed upon in the formal feedback session should be followed upon. It demonstrates to the person that you, as a manager, is interested in the evolution.

The person who is giving feedback should spend time being prepared. It is a very important moment for the personal who receives the feedback and the manager should show respect being properly prepared ahead of time. Teams deserve respect and due orientation on how to perform, what is missing for them to continue growing, how managers can help.

In giving feedback, it's crucial to acknowledge the multiplicity of perspectives inherent in every situation. While your feedback represents your viewpoint, fostering open dialogue encourages a deeper understanding of the recipient's perspective. Clear communication, including thoughtful word choice and tone, is essential. Starting and closing with positive statements helps reduce defensiveness and maintains a positive relationship with the recipient.