Here's how you can defuse conflicts in a professional setting.

Stay calm and composed, listening actively to show respect. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory and set polite but firm boundaries to avoid unproductive arguments. Shift the focus to collaborative problem-solving and, if necessary, involve a neutral third party to mediate. This approach helps maintain a positive and respectful work environment.

Conflict does not exist unless there is interdependence. This means you depend on the other person and they depend on you. Since you have some degree of mutual dependence and are expressing differences in satisfying your individual needs and interests, it only makes sense that you would like to be heard and understood and so would the other person. So take the time and invoke a solid process of active listening.

It is easy to keep calm when you plan on keeping calm. What I mean by that is the following. You know you are going to engage in a difficult conversation or situation and you remind yourself about the value of emotional intelligence, self awareness and self control. “Holding the Calm” (great book by that title) It is different when you are taken by surprise. The immediate response you offer upon being triggered. The amygdala hijack is a fight or flight response. I suggest the 4 P’s. Pause, Perspective, Prepare, Present. The most important is the Pause. Find a way to know that you need to pause. Ask yourself is this a pause-able moment? Say “YES” five times. That should get you back into control.

Listening carefully action will take politely . Take action on time. Always keeping mind calm and cool don't get panic. Must be approaching way is honestly. On time make solution to solve the problems.

The notion of separating the people from the problem is often misunderstood. Referring to “Getting to YES”, it is clear that people is what really matters, so don’t disregard the person. What it really means is to be soft on the person and hard on the problem. Remain respectful and attentive to people issues allowing you to strengthen relationships while disagree on substance.

Quite often you may wonder if the other party really heard what I said. If that is the case, they are probably thinking the same thing too. It would help if on occasion you reply back that “ I heard you say the following correct?” This shores up the communication gap and instills confidence that you are listening and may help them be more aware with your example of asking.

In addition to finding common ground, an unseen benefit often takes place. New synergies can be uncovered. Common ideas and thinking can spawn a new dimension of mutual opportunities. One of the principles of negotiation from “Getting to YES” is to invent opportunities for mutual gain before deciding. Take the time to think together.

Once upon a time, I joined a young and growing tech company. This was back in the day when one of the three founders personally took part in new employee orientation. Will always remember the focus on "constructive confrontation". Yes, there may indeed a conflict - confront it, understand it, communicate openly and honestly with those impacted, but most importantly, constructively engage together to resolve the issue.