Here's how you can assertively give and receive feedback in the workplace.

1 Prepare Well

Before diving into a feedback session, preparation is crucial. Understand the context of the feedback and the specifics you need to address. Make sure your points are clear, actionable, and focused on behavior or outcomes rather than personal attributes. Practice what you want to say, aiming for a tone that is firm yet empathetic. Anticipate possible reactions and plan your responses accordingly. This preparation will not only make you more confident in delivering your message but also help the receiver understand and accept your feedback more readily.

2 Be Direct

When it's time to give feedback, be direct but kind. Start with a positive note if possible, but don't beat around the bush. Clearly state what you've observed and why it's important. Use "I" statements to express your perspective without assigning blame, such as "I noticed that..." rather than "You did...". This approach encourages a more receptive response and reduces defensiveness. Being direct also means being honest; sugarcoating issues won't lead to meaningful change.

3 Listen Actively

Receiving feedback assertively involves active listening. Show that you are engaged by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using verbal acknowledgments like "I understand" or "That makes sense". Resist the urge to interrupt or become defensive. Instead, ask clarifying questions if something isn't clear. Active listening demonstrates respect for the person providing feedback and helps you fully grasp the message, increasing the likelihood of a positive outcome.

4 Respond Calmly

Once you've received feedback, respond calmly and thoughtfully. Take a moment to process the information before reacting. If you agree with the feedback, acknowledge it and discuss how you plan to address the issue. If you disagree, explain your perspective respectfully and provide evidence to support your view. Remember, feedback is not an attack on your character; it's an opportunity for growth. A calm response facilitates a constructive dialogue and shows your commitment to professional development.

5 Follow Up

After a feedback exchange, follow up to show that the conversation was meaningful. If you provided feedback, check in to see how things are progressing and offer further support if needed. If you received feedback, update the person on the steps you've taken to address their comments. Following up demonstrates that you value the feedback process and are committed to ongoing improvement. It also helps to reinforce changes and ensure that the initial conversation has a lasting impact.